AZ sunset

Late night/early mornin'

There is a small window in the far reaches of night when a strange thing happens: people stop posting updates on facebook. Strange because facebook is nothing if not the ultimate ego stroke. There is no detail so trivial or personal that it has never been posted on facebook (nay-sayers, browse a lamebook archive and prove me wrong). I'll admit I'm just as guilty as the next person of sharing things on facebook, but more than anything else I use facebook to catch up with my friends. I'm always curious about other people, and not much of a talker, so I like to read my friends' thoughts and comment as necessary.
So here I am, almost 1:30 AM and there's nothing stirring on facebook. Not even a mouse (har har). I can't sleep because I'm worried about grad school, moving, life and other things. I keep checking for updates on f'book because I'm desperate for a distraction so I don't have to think about the concerns running through my head. The biggest thing on my mind right now is worrying if I'm going to the right grad program. I love Washington. And EWU is a damn fine program. I just keep finding myself worrying about whether I picked the right program. Should I have gone to NYC? Pittsburgh? Should I have applied to more schools? 
Jess has been an incredible source of comfort and advice during all of this. And, as she's told me before, it won't feel right until I'm there. It's just...what if it doesn't? 
I'm an obsessive compulsive type. I worry about things I can't control simply because I can't control them. Everytime someone tells me that worrying won't fix anything I get angry. In what universe is this not a given? I don't worry because I think it will make something happen, I worry because I'm powerless and it's the only thing my brain knows how to do. It's not a conscious decision, it's primal, instinctual. Reaction. Fight/flight and all that.
Other things on my mind lately? Phish festival coming up soon, thinking about trying to learn the "Meatstick" dance just in case they decide to play it (although it's kind of a rarity as far as Phish tunes go); loving the new-used car (although still feeling a little sad about losing my old road friend); wishing I spent more time writing and less time dicking around watching movies/TV/internet; speaking of which, awaiting the exciting conclusion of the season of Weeds that Jess and I are watching; hoping Jess is feeling better; content after a long but productive day of gym>work>Moe Monday>movie time with the lady. Thinking I've spent enough time online. Goodnight, internet.
  • Current Music
    "Backwards Down the Number Line"
AZ sunset

(no subject)

So I had a weird, surreal moment today in the men's room at school. I was washing my hands and then went for the paper towel dispenser, which is always near the trash can (logical place), in this case directly above it. So I push the bar and it dispenses paper towels. I wipe my hands. I move to throw out said paper towel, and I notice that there's a clear plastic water bottle in the trash can, on top of the heap. Filled with urine. I kinda froze in my steps. On the one hand, I tried to justify this by reminding myself that it IS a restroom and of all places to dispose of urine a restroom is the most viable option. But this argument was cut short by the fact that THERE ARE TOILETS FOR THAT. So my guess is someone pissed in the bottle ON THE WAY to school (or maybe in class--nope, hopefully that's not a thing), carried the warm pee bottle for some time, and tossed it in the trash. THIS IS WEIRD. The only excuse for peeing in a bottle is if you are a trucker who is trying to make good time because you are behind schedule and cranked out on meth so there's no time to allow basic human functions like eating/sleeping/using a toilet. The fact that a college student would need to resort to pissing in a bottle on his way to school is puzzling. It rattles the mind. Maybe I'm making too much out of this, but come on, this is very weird indeed. Anyway, that's my rant.
AZ sunset

(no subject)

Well, this is my inaugural Live Journal blog. I've always hated the word "blog" and thought it sounded pretentious, until it was recently pointed out to me that by calling it a "web log" I make myself out to be the kind of old coot who calls email "electronic mail". So I reluctantly acceded to add the word "blog" to my vocab.
I've been a bit of a shut-in lately. Call it cabin fever or seasonal depression but lately I've been feeling like I'm stuck in a funk. So today I made myself go out for an adventure. Nothing big--for me, adventure used to mean hiking or camping or a road trip. I just went to my local record store. It's a small shack of a building pasted with old fliers from various punk shows. I found an odd little number there today. It's a Jimi Hendrix Christmas album called Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. It's not a full-length record, just a 10 inch vinyl with psychedelic instrumental versions of classic holiday tunes. I asked the guy who works at the store why I'd never heard of this gem. It was just released in 2010. He said it was a limited release for Record Store Day, which he explained is an annual day to support local record shops. The sleeve of the record has a creepy-ish photo of Jimi dressed like Santa, right down to the fake beard, holding a couple of his records underneath a Christmas tree. A bizarre find, for sure, but kind of a nice little perk in my day. It's the little things, right?
  • Current Music
    Auld Lang Syne